Wonderland
by sistersgrimmlover
Summary: There is a world. A world where there is no such thing as time. A world that mirrors reality. A world where there is no day or night. There is no sun and there is no moon. There is only that world and those who live there. There is only that world and Harry Potter whom can't decide whether he prefers his dreams to Reality, as the world he called home thinks him to be mad.
1. Prologue

**Title: **Wonderland

**Pairing: **HP/LV(TMR), HGRW, one-sided GWHP, one-side CCHP

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

Wonderland

By: Sistersgrimmlover

**Prologue**

_I wonder if I've been changed in the night?_

_Let me think._

_Was I the same when I got up this morning?_

_I almost think I can remember feeling a little different._

_But if I'm not the same, the next question is_

_'Who in the world__am I'_

_Ah, that's the great puzzle!_

_-Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland_

He falls as he sleeps, twisting and turning, falling and flying.

And he will not wake, he cannot wake, he shall not wake.

Not _yet_.

Not until he finds the surface again.

He will never find the surface again. Not _yet_, not _yet_, not until _**he **_lets himself find the surface. Not until he lets him wake, and will he ever allow this. Will he ever allow another day to the twisting nad turning, falling and flying, screaming and silent child. Not _yet_, not _yet_, not until times run out and it hasn't. It hasn't run out.

Not _yet_.

And so he is led down the Rabbit's Hole and reality and dreams become one and _yet_, remain two distant thing. So close, _yet_ so far...so far...

The darkness swallows him whole and he knows not what he's supposed to do. Should he try and fly? It _is _his dream, after all.

Yet, it is _**not**_ his dream and it will _**not**_ be his dream and he cannot fly. Not _yet_ anyway.

But, he wants to.

He wants to fly away from everything that comes crashing down around him and the things that follow him down the rabbit hole, where something waits for him. Something that he isn't entirely sure about.

"Late...late...we're very, very late."

He looks around, green eyes wide and he watches the streak of silver and pale yellow with an odd sort of confusion.

He realizes that he's speeding up and he's falling faster and faster.

And then...suddenly...he..._**STOPS.**_

And he stands there, staring around with those wide green eyes. Green eyes that portray innocence and beauty and pure good, even when he's been faced with the ugly things of the world of reality, the Otherworld, up and out this strange little rabbit hole that he's fallen down into.

This strange little rabbit hole that defied everything that is reality and complied with everything that was not. This strange little rabbit hole that had taken him from his Forsaken World that only delivered hurt and heartbreak to him, to the face of innocence.

It is said that all things truly wicked start from innocence.

And so those green eyes focused on a door, a small door, a small door that led from the Forsaken World, and he wanted to go, but he had to stay.

There was a key and he had none.

And he wished to cry, cry for this key, but he did not and so there was no Ocean of Tears to cross and there was no tea to be had and there was no madness to be seen nor heard nor found.

And so he was kept alone.

Alone in this limbo between his Forsaken World of Reality and this Mad World of Dreams.

Of things real yet not.

Of things not here nor nowhere, but there.

_WHO __**AM**__ I?_

Words echoed through the small rabbit hole with the door and it boomed around him.

_YOU __**Are**_ _my_ CHOSEN ONE. _YOU...__**Are...**_**ALICE**_**...in...all his MADNESS.**_

And the words echoed back at him, so familiar, yet so foreign and he knew that it came from not there, but _everywhere_, wherever this everywhere was and he fell to his knees, silently pleading that he may enter this Mad World, for this world...any world would be better than the one that was already in ashes.

_AM I _**ALICE **_IN ALL HIS __**MADNESS?**_

There was silence and those innocent eyes, innocence that led to madness and sadness and badness and that wickedness that we all crave to show but don't, looked up to the tiny little dot of light that was so far..so far...

And that voice answered.

NOT _YET._


	2. Chapter 1

**Title: **Wonderland

**Pairing: **HP/LV(TMR), HGRW, LL/? one-sided GWHP, one-side CCHP

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

Wonderland

By: Sistersgrimmlover

**Chapter 1**

_"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense._

_Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't._

_And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be._

_And what it wouldn't be, it would._

_You see?"_

_-Lewis Caroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_

He stared out of the fast-paced train, observing how the scenery seemed to blur together into something little more than a mess, but still infinitely beautiful. He ignored how his friends and the strange, odd girl spoke about Neville's _mimbulus mimbletonia _and its magical properties. If he stared out of the window long enough, perhaps he would be able to decipher the very odd dream that he had had the night before.

It was not normal for Harry to have a strange dream and his scar not to hurt afterwards. Yet, when he had woke up that morning, gasping for breath and still feeling like he was falling, his scar had tingled pleasantly for a change. It had instantly made Harry suspicious and paranoid, though he hadn't voiced his concerns to Hermione and Ron. They already had prefect things to worry about and he was still wary of them after they hadn't even thought to contact him over the summer. He was still stung about that one.

It wasn't like they all hadn't broken rules before. They knew he hated the Dursleys and they hated him and he had felt utterly cut off, especially with the ordeal that had happened at the end of his fourth year at Hogwarts.

"Are you okay, Harry?"

Harry looked up, sharply at his name being called and he winced when he saw Neville, Ginny, and Luna all staring at him. It seemed that Ginny had called out to him and he nodded, slowly.

"Yes...I'm fine. Just thinking."

Ginny and Neville nodded, taking this for an answer and went on to discuss trivial things, and Harry turned back to stare out the window again. He tried to resume his deep thinking, but Harry could still feel eyes on him. He looked up and stared into those big, wide grey eyes and he frowned as they seemed to stare into his very soul.

Luna Lovegood was her name.

He'd only known her for about twenty minutes, but he had already drawn some accurate conclusions about her. She was different, and he wasn't sure if it was in a good way, yet.

So weird...so odd...so _loony_ _(He really meant so __**mad**__)_.

He couldn't help but remember the first words that had escaped her mouth when he had entered her presence with Ginny and Neville at his back.

(_WHO __**ARE **_** YOU?**)

"What are you thinking about?" Luna asked.

Harry tilted his head, wondering if he should speak the truth or not.

Just as he decided on what he was going to say, thick squirts of liquid shot out from every boil on his plant and Harry let out a harsh shout as it covered every visible surface in the compartment, including himself. It smelled absolutely horrifying to say the least and Harry frowned as the compartment door slid open and he found himself face to face with Cho Chang herself.

He knew that he should be flushing.

His face should be red and he should be stammering as she said spoke, her voice just as pretty as she was. And yet, he was not doing any of those things.

He only stared at her until she left the room. He wondered where those fluttering feelings had gone and when he had stopped thinking about Cho Chang. He wondered when his mind had labelled her as unimportant and he wondered when he had forgotten that she existed until that very moment where she had arrived in the compartment, specifically to say hello to _him_. He wondered why he didn't give a damn.

He wondered if he was going mad.

0o0

As they wandered up to the castle, Harry felt a hand on his arm and he looked down at Luna whom didn't even care to look up at him. They simply walked together as Hermione and Ron bickered on the path, forgetting that Harry had ever been there. Not that Harry really minded, because he definitely did not mind.

"You never told me what you were thinking about," Luna said, conversationally and Harry blinked, staring down at the girl that smiled as she stared up at the bright lights.

"I thought about everything…and then nothing at all," Harry whispered and Luna's lips curled into a small smile as she heard his words and she inclined her head, her eyes bright with mischief.

"So eloquent," Luna murmured. "Riddle me this, Harry Potter. Who are you?"

Harry froze at her words and he stared at her for a long moment, confusion and oddly enough, distrust rising in his soul.

"You just said my name," Harry murmured as they walked to the carriages and Luna tilted her head, a knowing look in her wide grey eyes, full of knowledge that they should not hold, but did anyway.

"We both know that that's not your name. At least, you will have _another _name. But, _not yet_."

The way she said the last two words set Harry on edge and he frowned as the words echoed in his head, her soft, sweet voice bouncing in the empty space of his head, distorting until it was loud chant of the words.

_Not yet. NOT yet. NOT YET. __**NOT **__YET. __**NOT YET!**_

Harry cleared his throat, shaking his head and he stared down at her and she smiled before looking at the carriage, her eyes growing sad. Harry gasped when he saw that she was not looking at the carriage, sadly, but what was pulling it. He looked at the large creatures. They were black and skeletal, looking the epitome of death and he couldn't help but think of Greek mythology and Hades and the Underworld.

"Do you see that?" he whispered and he turned around to see that Ron and Hermione had finally caught up and were both staring at him in confusion.

"See what, mate?" Ron asked, curiously and he easily looked over Harry's shoulder staring at the carriage with confusion on his face.

Harry shook his head in disbelief.

"Don't you see what's pulling the carriages? They're big and black and look like _death_," Harry hissed, pointing at the great beasts and Hermione stared at him.

She was staring at him just like the others stared at him. She was staring at him as if he were…as if he were…_mad_. And he was not _mad_. He wasn't. He wasn't. He _wasn't_.

"There's nothing there, Harry," Hermione said, gently, as if she were afraid to set him off and Harry glared down at her, righteous anger causing his eyes to glow brighter than ever, almost reminiscent of the feared Killing Curse.

"I'm not _mad_," he hissed, spitting out the word as if it were vitriol. "There's something pulling the carriage."

"No, there—"

"Yes, there is."

All three fifth years looked to the amused blonde whom was staring at the three as if they were being petty. Harry supposed that they were.

"You see it too?" Harry asked, hopeful.

Luna smiled. "Of course I do. They're called thestrals."

Hermione looked at her, looking quite doubtful, which Harry wasn't surprised about. From the moment that Hermione had spoken to Luna, she had looked at Luna with that pitying doubt, as if she thought Luna was mad too.

"What are thestrals? I've never read about them and there's nothing in Hogwarts, A History about something pulling the carriages," Hermione said, sharply and Luna began to climb into the carriage, essentially ignoring Hermione and the curly-haired girl squawked, unused to the dismissal.

Both Ron and Harry laughed, quietly as they climbed in after Luna and Harry settled himself next to the girl and Hermione climbed in not a moment later. She stared at Luna, expectantly, but the girl wasn't looking at her. She was staring at Harry. She slowly lifted her hand and placed a finger to his scar, causing both Ron and Hermione to gasp.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked, softly and Luna laughed.

"Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. But, soon. Have you, by chance, fallen down any rabbit holes?" Luna asked, her eyes glowing like the silver of the moon and Harry stiffened at the question as Hermione and Ron exchanged worried looks.

"I…how do you _know _that?" Harry hissed and Luna smiled.

"I know many things. But, there's one thing I don't know. Who are _you_?"

Harry gritted his teeth. "I'm Harry Potter."

Luna let out another laugh.

"You were," she murmured before she looked at Hermione, her smile slowly disappearing. "A thestral is a magical creature that eats raw meat. It can only be seen by those whom have seen death. If I'm not mistaken, Harry Potter, has seen death. Quite a bit of it."

Hermione looked at her, wide-eyed, looking almost apologetic for just a moment, before she looked suspicious.

"Wait…that's impossible. You're just seeing it, Harry? You've seen death before…your mother…" Hermione trailed away as she realized how close she had come to speaking about the night that was essentially taboo.

Luna looked unimpressed with Hermione. Harry simply ignored, used to Hermione's accidental tactlessness. It was part of her personality and he had been around her for far too long to be offended by her words.

"You see them only when you're old enough to comprehend, understand, and _embrace _death. Harry Potter has seen death and it has changed him," Luna said, softly and she looked over at Harry Potter and looked almost lost for a minute.

"That's a little morbid," Ron muttered, but Harry was unconcerned by him.

He only had eyes for Loony Lovegood.

"What, Luna?" Harry asked, softly, almost gently and he wondered why he was being so kind to someone he had only just met, a couple hours before.

"Not yet, Harry Potter. You're not ready for it. Not until you can answer my question," Luna decided and Hermione looked between the two.

"And what question would that be?" Hermione asked, haughtily.

Luna giggled, "_Who, _pray tell,are _you_?"

0o0

He was silent as his fellow yearmates swirled about him, smiling and grinning as they celebrated the start of a new year. The green-eyed boy with wide eyes _(so innocent, so sweet, so __**mad**__) _pretended not to notice the wary, hesitant stares that were being directed towards him. He preferred to focus on the two steady forces that sat by his side, just as they promised they would, and he gave an uneven smile to Ron and Hermione whom gladly returned them, happy that he had seemingly gotten rid of his mood.

"Did you hear the Sorting Hat's warning? It was so _odd_," Hermione murmured and Ron nodded in agreement, clearing noticing that the Sorting Hat had been off.

Or perhaps he was nodding simply to placate her as he ravenously devoured the roast potatoes that was conveniently in front of his plate. Harry looked away from the gluttonous display, feeling a little sick. He wasn't too hungry, he never was at the beginning of the year. He ate like a bird for most of the summer due to the little food given to him by the Dursleys. Even at Grimmauld Place, he hadn't been able to eat much.

He decided on a thin slice of ham.

"It wasn't, really. The Hat gives warnings, sometimes. When there's a need for them, that is."

Hermione glanced up at Nearly-Headless Nick, a curious expression on her face and Harry turned away from her, knowing that she was about to shoot off a bunch of questions that he didn't care to hear. He looked around, searching for Luna, and he smiled when he found her at the Ravenclaw table. His smile slipped away when he noticed that she was sitting on the far end of the table, alone. She didn't seem to mind though.

She was too intrigued in the Quibbler that she was reading.

His smile widened.

"Oo argh 'oo smi'ing?" came Ron's question through a mouthful of food.

Harry didn't need to look at Hermione to tell that she was just as disgusted as he was.

"Swallow, Ron," Harry said, pasting a fake smile on his face.

Ron swallowed hard before taking a gulp of pumpkin juice, effectively clearing his mouth.

"Who are you smiling at?"

Harry's smiled turned true once more.

"Luna Lovegood. She's an odd one."

Ron groaned and shook his head.

"Oh, Harry. Don't tell me you fancy this one. What about Cho?" Ron demanded and Harry frowned in confusion.

"What about Cho?" he repeated and Hermione nodded.

"You fancied her," Hermione stated, as if it were pure fact, which it was.

Harry hummed. "I did. I don't fancy Luna either. But, she's interesting. She's different."

Ron snorted.

"She's _mad_."

Harry froze and his eyes narrowed on Ron's face, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"_Don't _call her mad. _Don't _call anyone mad," Harry snarled and Ron's eyes widened at the dangerous hiss in the boy's voice and Hermione looked just as alarmed.

"There's no need to get angry, Harry. He was just making a tactless comment," Hermione said, slowly and sounding almost placating and Harry turned a dark look onto her, looking thoroughly unamused by her words.

"Then he shouldn't make tactless comments. If you've nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all," Harry snapped and he looked away, his false good mood gone for good, or at least until the next morning and he ignored the looks of his friends as the little toad from the trial stood up, all donned in pink.

"_Ahem, ahem._"

0o0

_WHO...ARE...__**YOU**__?_

_The hole was gone, the door open and a different voice called to him now. It was an inquisitive odd voice full of a dreamy quality that perfectly fitted the dream. Except not at all, because nothing was perfect, as nothing was something, and something was perfect, while nothing was not. He took a step forward towards the door, but a heavy white smoke streamed out, smelling heavily of exotic incenses and there was a dreamy little laugh that echoed throughout his head, sounding delightfully mad._

"_Hello? Is anyone there?"_

_WHO…ARE…__**YOU**__?_

_The question echoed throughout the darkness and he tried to look around, searching for the door again, but only thick white smoke emerged. He could see nothing and his world was slowly turning white, such a welcome contrast to the blackness that had plagued his dreams for the longest time. He squinted through the smoke but could only make out the faintest outline. It looked like a girl, but he couldn't be sure. He knew men in Reality with long hair, especially in his Forsaken World._

_WHO…ARE…__**YOU**__?_

_He groaned as the question echoed throughout the room once more and he shook his head, unable to answer._

_He didn't know._

"_I don't know."_

_**NOT YET.**_

_Those words. It was those words again. They had been said, over and over again, and he was slowly growing tired of hearing them. He was tired and lonely and confused and he felt tears prick his eyes. His frustrated tears were chased away and he frowned instead as the smoke seemed to swirl around the shrouded figure before dispersing and leaving nothing in their wake._

_There is nothing but the door and he began to make his way forward. Suddenly, the door swung shut, locking with an echoing click. He stopped, shocked into staring at the small door that seemed to shrink more and more the longer that he stared at it. He turned away, curiosity replacing his shock as he saw a small, round table that hadn't been there before, with a key on it._

_And next to that key was a small bottle labelled with words that spoke volumes._

_DRINK ME._

0o0

He stared into the roaring fire, a look of contemplation on his face as he waited.

It was cold night for September and he wondered if the great stone castle was cold. It had been a long time since he had been there. He frowned when he realized that it was probably much warmer in Gryffindor Tower than it was in the Slytherin Dungeons. The dungeons _were _underneath the lake, after all.

A sharp shriek sounded throughout the small drawing room, but he did not startle. Nothing startled him. He was prepared for all things, at all times. He was quite meticulous like that.

The man turned to look at the small object emitting the sound and he reached for the teapot. As his long, thin fingers wrapped around the handle, the harsh whistling sounds ended and he took a deep breath, the scent of the Earl Grey tea strong. He reached for his tea cup, looking down at the milk that he had poured in beforehand, and carefully poured the perfect amount, the same amount every night and he dropped exactly one and a half sugars into the small tea cup. He hummed and carefully stirred it.

As he lifted the teacup from the tray and placed the spoon down, he heard the crack of his house elf. He promptly ignored the house elf. He had no concern for them at the moment.

He took a long sip of his tea, enjoying how it scalded his tongue. It made him feel _alive_.

He hummed at the realization that drinking _tea _made him, somehow, feel alive.

How odd. How mad.

The man snorted.

He had never boasted much in the way of sanity.


	3. Chapter 2

**Title: **Wonderland

**Pairing: **HP/LV(TMR), HGRW, LL/? one-sided GWHP, one-side CCHP

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

**Note:** I'm definitely not putting everything in here. Generally, a lot of what happened is the same. Canon hasn't changed too much. Only Luna's friendship with Harry has been pushed up. Canon will change soon though. I promise.

Wonderland

By: Sistersgrimmlover

**Chapter 2**

"_Only a few find the way._

_Some don't recognize it when they do._

_Some don't ever want to."_

_-The Cheshire Cat, American McGee's Alice_

"What've you got that for?" the young man asked, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the sodden copy of the _Daily Prophet_ in Hermione's hands as she gave the owl the required Knut for the 'esteemed' paper.

Hermione looked down at it, darkly and she huffed. "It's best to know what the enemy is saying. And why are you in such a bad mood already? It's barely morning and it's the first day of classes."

Harry sighed at the question and looked away as he thought back to the dream that he had had the night before. It had been one of his most confusing dreams yet and it had been one of the first new ones since the dreams had started up. His dreams had previously been a rehash of the same dream, someone calling him that odd title that he could never quite remember.

He could barely remember anything except for the loud voices and two simple words.

_Not yet_.

"I'm not in a bad mood," Harry huffed. "What's the Prophet got to say about me now?"

He watched as Hermione's brow furrowed for a moment and then slowly rose up her forehead. She scanned over it again, as if she couldn't believe what she was reading before she slowly place it down, two emotions warring on her face.

"Nothing. There's nothing about you or Dumbledore in here," Hermione murmured and Ron looked up at her, confused, as he continued to shovel eggs into his mouth.

He swallowed quickly.

"Then why do you look so upset? This is a good thing," Ron pointed out and Hermione nodded, slowly and she sighed.

"Yes. But, confusing. Professor Umbridge appears and suddenly, the Prophet finds the new opening of a robes' shop in Diagon Alley more interesting than you. It's very odd," Hermione pointed out and Harry nodded before looking away as Professor McGonagall began to walk towards them.

"Good morning."

Harry jolted at the dreamy voice and the heavy scent of incenses that came with it. He looked up at the fourth year that stood there, her grey eyes wide and a lost smile on her face. He looked around and he could see that several of the other students were staring at her as if she were insane. Even Ron and Hermione looked shocked and confused and slightly disturbed by her sudden appearance.

Harry was simply unnerved by the knowing look in her wide eyes.

"Good morning, Luna. Would you like to sit with us?" Harry asked, politely.

Luna smiled, gratefully.

"I think I will. My housemates don't like me very much. I was very much alone before. I'm glad that I know you, Harry Potter," Luna said and she slid into the seat next to Harry, smiling pleasantly around, as if she were unaware of all the stares she was receiving.

Harry wouldn't be surprised if she were.

"You can't sit here," Hermione said, flatly and Harry glared at her.

"That's not very nice, Hermione," Harry snapped and Hermione flushed when she realized how she had sounded.

"No, I mean, she's not allowed to sit here. This is the Gryffindor table. She's a Ravenclaw," Hermione pointed out and Luna tilted her head as she went to pick up piece of toast.

"It's not a rule that I can't sit here. Thus, I'm allowed to do so. Unless Harry wishes for me to move," Luna said, looking to the green-eyed boy and Hermione looked at him, expectantly.

Harry ignored her.

"I wouldn't have invited you to sit if I didn't want you here," Harry said, simply and took a sip of his pumpkin juice so that he could avoid Hermione's harsh glare and Luna's bright smile.

"Did you sleep well, Harry Potter? Did you dream of doors and smoke?"

Harry froze and he was barely able to keep a hold of the glass of pumpkin juice in his hand. He looked up, sharply, his eyes narrowed as he stared at Luna. She was smiling at the ceiling as she awaited his answer.

"How do you know about my dreams?"

"Not yet."

Harry grinded his teeth together.

"Don't use those words on me. Tell me. Now," Harry spat and Hermione and Ron made surprised noises in the back of their throats.

Luna slowly turned to him and her eyes were narrowed. She no longer looked dreamy, but deadly serious as she stared at him.

"Do not think that you can command me. You are not my master."

Harry hissed. "Who then?"

"'_I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul'_," Luna murmured and Hermione looked surprised by the young woman's words while Ron and Harry stared at her, utterly confused by her meaning.

"Invictus," Hermione murmured, a new respect in her eyes for the other woman and Luna looked at her through hooded eyes.

"I appreciate Muggle literature," Luna said before she turned back to Harry. "You never did answer my question."

Harry sneered.

"You ask so many," he spat and Luna laughed, ignoring his foul attitude in a way that his friends could never achieve.

"I do. Answer me this: Who are you?"

Harry blinked.

_WHO…ARE…__**YOU**__?_

"It was you," Harry whispered and Luna turned away, a secretive smile on her face and she looked down the table, her eyes lighting up as they fell on the teapot just in front of Ginny who was unsubtly watching them.

"Soon, Harry Potter. You'll meet him soon."

"Who?" Harry asked.

Luna suddenly stood as McGonagall finally reached the trio and she began to walk away, ignoring Harry's question. She suddenly stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"I do hope you enjoy tea."

As McGonagall placed the schedules in front of the three, Harry was lost in thought.

"Harry?"

Harry looked up at the uncertain question and he meet Hermione's worried eyes.

"Yes?"

"What was that about, mate?" Ron asked, looking just as worried as Hermione and Harry sighed, looking away.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

0o0

Harry stumbled into the second floor loo, his face pale as he clutched his stinging hand to his chest. He swallowed hard, looking down at the dried blood that covered his raw hand. He was tired and hungry and he had had to miss dinner because of that stupid _bitch_. He knew he should've kept his mouth shut, but he wasn't going to sit there and be called a liar.

He wasn't going to sit there and be treated as if he were mad.

Harry closed his eyes as he turned the faucet on and he shoved his hand under the frigid water. He sighed in relief and he began to scrub the drying blood off his hand, wincing as it pulled at his skin. Harry almost wished that the cut hadn't healed. Then, he was sure that she wouldn't make him go again. She would've been satisfied that it would scar and that would've been the end of it.

He looked up through the dirty lenses of his round glasses, staring at his expression and he frowned when he saw how drained he looked. His eyes looked brighter in the darkness of the bathroom, the only light streaming in through the windows. The moon was full that night.

Harry closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, he felt his vision blur for just a moment before the surface of the mirror seemed to ripple and change, swirling in on itself. Harry could only watch in fascination as his reflection was suddenly not alone.

There was someone standing behind him. He was taller than Harry, and his face was shadowed over. He couldn't see anything but thin lips curled into a malicious smile. Black hair curled around the mysterious man's ears and atop his head was a large top hat. It was patched and frayed, long stitches holding the brim and the top part of the hat together. Long pianist fingers hovered over Harry's shoulders for just a moment before they settled on his shoulders and the young man shivered as he felt the phantom feel of someone's cool fingers pulling away the large collar of his shirt, exposing his bare shoulder.

_Mine_.

Harry shivered at the word and the heavy implications that they held. He couldn't look away from his reflection even when the man's head bent down and lips were pressed to the soft skin of his shoulder. He shivered at the feeling. It was different from when the man had touched his shoulders. The kiss pressed to his shoulder was hot and Harry could feel a tongue brushing across the skin, tasting it. Harry shivered again, the shudder running up and down his spine more violent this time.

_Mine_. _MY __**ALICE.**_

"What?" Harry whispered and he hated how he sounded like a confused child.

He wasn't a child. Not anymore. And yet, the words that frightened him so reduced him to that frightened child that had been locked away in the darkness more times than he could even care to remember.

_MY __**ALICE…**__IN ALL HIS __**MADNESS…**__so __beautiful…_

And then suddenly, lips were replaced by teeth and glowing red eyes were visible through the shadows of the man's face. Harry let out a choked sound of pain as the teeth dug into his skin and the lips curled into a smile on his skin. As the teeth bit down deeper into the flesh, he let out scream of anguish and pain and he flailed, attempting to get the man off of him.

But, there was nothing there, only the sensation of someone biting into his shoulder and the fiery pain that spread from the deep bite. Harry's hand curled into a fist and he threw it forward, his knuckles colliding with the glass. He screamed as it shattered under his hand and barely heard the rushing footsteps that approached him as he fell to his knees, broken shards showering over him and blood spilling down his shoulder.

_I'M COMING FOR YOU, __**ALICE**__._

Harry fell on his side, curling in on himself as his vision blurred and tears of pain mixed with the blood dripping down his shoulder. The voice echoed loudly in his head and he couldn't stand. He couldn't stand how loud everything was. The dull roar in his ears grew louder as shouts flew over his head and he saw the hem of a long sweeping electric purple robe. Patches of grey appeared and his vision began to flicker. He couldn't understand the words spoken above him though he heard them.

_But not __**yet…**_

The darkness swallowed him whole.

0o0

_He was in the little rabbit hole again, the small door in front of him and he saw that he was still too big to get through. He stared at the table and he frowned when he found that there was a third object on the table that wasn't there the last time he had come to the rabbit hole. It was a small crumpet, a small flag attached to it that read 'EAT ME'. His stomach growled and reached forward, devouring it in almost a single bite._

_As soon as it he felt it slide down his throat, suddenly everything was closing in on him. Everything was becoming smaller and smaller, or perhaps he was getting bigger and bigger. He couldn't quite tell the difference anymore. As he grew, or perhaps as the room shrunk, his thoughts grew more muddled and his clothing began to tighten around his body, not growing with him and his large shirt suddenly became too tight, restricting his breathing and his large jeans tightened around his middle and barely reached his knees._

_And then, the pain hit._

_It started from his shoulder and then spread through his body like a wildfire. His shoulder throbbed and he let out a cry of agony, his eyes prickling from tears of agony and frustration. His knees buckled and he fell onto his knees before the door, which he was certainly too large to fit through then. Tears slipped down his cheeks, hitting the ground with loud crashing splashes. His tears were causing puddles, but he was TOO __**CONCERNED**__ and TOO __**HURT**__ and TOO __**SAD**__ and TOO __**FRUSTRATED**__ to care._

_He didn't notice the water build around him until the _**OCEAN **_of _TEARS_ had reached his waist. His eyes widened and he placed a hand down, watching as it caused crashing waves and he burst into tears once more, frustration pushing him further over the edge. The harder he cried, the more his body was wracked with sobs. The throbbing in his shoulder increased with every broken sob and as the _**OCEAN **_of _TEARS _reached his shoulders, finally did his tears run dry._

_He looked around, searching for the door, but he couldn't see anything. There was nothing but the _**OCEAN **_of _TEARS _and yet, there floating atop the ocean, just in front of him was a small bottle, a key ring over the narrow nose of the bottle. He reached forward and pulled away the top and he tilted his head, curiosity replacing his sadness and frustration and reducing the agony in his shoulder._

_He tilted his head back, emptying the contents of the bottle into his mouth, and then he began to shrink, more and more and more, and the miniscule key grew and grew and grew until it was just the right size and he was just the right size and he fell into his_** OCEAN **_of _TEARS_ . The small bottle, that was now big, had become his raft and he clutched to it, his hands tightly wrapped around the key. He looked around, searching and searching and then, his eyes fell upon a young blond. He had the cheeks of a baby, and he looked overtly excited._

_He knew the name for the boy, and yet, he could only think one thing._

"_Mouse?"_

_The boy blinked when he saw him and he grinned, waving madly at him. He stared at him in confusion and tilted his head._

"_Where are we? Where are we?"_

_The Mouse looked at him, confused as if he couldn't understand him._

_He frowned. "Where are we, Mouse? What is this?"_

_The boy opened his mouth and out came, _This is the**OCEAN **_of _TEARS. Your tears.

_He nodded, suddenly understanding, and yet, not understanding at all. As he thought this, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder once more and his face screwed up in pain._

_**POTTER!**_

_The Mouse suddenly looked frightened and pained squeaks escaped his mouth._

It's the Cat! The Cheshire Cat!

_The Mouse began to spin, suddenly, falling into the depths of the _**OCEAN **_of _TEARS, _drowning in Harry's sorrows._

0o0

His vision was fuzzy, full of grey instead of the bright colours he knew he _should _be seeing. He mumbled something unintelligible as he was slowly awakened and he let out a soft cry as the cool air finally registered with him and he gave a violent shiver. Slowly, the colour returned but everything was still a giant blur. He felt something being pressed into his clenched fingers and he squeezed the item, tightly before realizing what it was. Slowly, he pulled open his glasses and placed them on his face.

He looked up into the concerned faces of Madam Pomfrey, Hermione, Ron, McGonagall, and the apathetic expression of Snape. He shivered, violently, and then he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. He looked down at it, his eyes narrowing as he saw the bandage over his bare shoulder.

"What…what happened?" he rasped, his voice hoarse from his screaming.

McGonagall looked uncertain and so Madam Pomfrey stepped forward. "Mr. Potter, we found you in the second floor girl's bathroom, on the ground, surrounded by shattered glass and blood. Your shoulder was bleeding from what appeared to be a…bite mark."

At her words, the memories rushed back to him and he gasped, his lips quivering as he remember the man that had stood in the mirror. Slowly, he shook his head, taking deep labouring breaths that quickly transformed into quick, shallow gasps.

"No…it wasn't real. It wasn't real. He's not _real_. They're not real. They're not _real_," Harry rasped, shaking his head in horror and Hermione and Ron looked at him in shock and worry.

"Potter, calm down!"

The bark silenced Harry, cutting off his hyperventilation. He stared at Snape for a long moment, his eyes narrowed.

"You…you were there. You were there. He was afraid of you. Cheshire…Cheshire…" Harry whispered, staring at Snape for a long moment and McGonagall looked from Snape to Harry in confusion.

"Potter, what is it you're rambling on about?" she demanded.

Harry shook his head, his lip quivering.

"He was there. And then _he _was there. He was there and yet he wasn't. He was in the mirror. In the mirror. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt," Harry whispered as he clenched his fist and he let out a little cry as he pulled at the scabs and bandages on the back of his hand.

Madame Pomfrey looked down, her eyes glazed with worry.

"Harry, where did the words on the back of your hand come from?" she asked, softly, hoping to get a straight answer for that little injury and Harry's eyes grew sharper as he briefly returned to reality.

"Umbridge."

McGonagall gasped. "Umbridge, did this to you?"

"Just my hand. _He _did this to me. Snape was there. The Mouse, the Mouse was so scared of the Cat. The Cheshire Cat. Alice…Alice in all his madness and an Ocean of Tears," Harry whispered and Hermione's eyes widened in understanding and she leaned forward.

"He's…he's talking about a book. It's a book," she murmured.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "What book, Granger?"

"Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll. It's about a little girl named Alice and her adventures in wonderland," Hermione said, softly and Harry's eyes glazed over once more with delirious pain and he jerked up, looking straight at Hermione.

"Alice, Alice, in all his madness. There he goes, there he goes, falling down a rabbit hole. Mine, he says. Mine, he says. Alice, Alice, in all his madness. And then she asks, and then she asks, who are you behind the masks? Who are you?" Harry babbled and he suddenly tensed up.

Harry's head fell back against the pillows, his eyes rolling back into his head as his body seized. Hermione let out a choked sound before turning to bury her face in Ron's neck. Ron's arms came around her as they watched the adults work hurriedly over Harry's body.

Snape let out a choked gasp as he pressed a hand to Harry's forehead and he jerked back, grabbing at his left forearm.

"Severus?" McGonagall asked, softly.

Snape looked pained. "I cannot touch him."

Harry suddenly stopped and he gasped, shooting up, as he reached up, trying to straighten his glasses and he stared around at the bewildered expressions of his friends and teachers.

"He's coming for me. The man said he's coming for me. But…not yet."


End file.
